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ASK TJ: Deep Shit

by Tijuana Jackson

What is the meaning of life?

That’s like asking what is the meaning of a canvas? Life ain’t shit until you put something on it. But I’ll give you this: The past is ur lesson. The present is ur gift and the future is martial law.

TJ, Do they offer full dental healthcare in prison?

Do you know that prisons make on average 160 per day, per inmate of your tax dollars? Nigga we get better health and dental on the inside than ya’ll get on the outside because the longer you can keep an inmate alive, the more money the prison can make off they ass.  So best believe when I tell the warden I got a stomach ache, they be having Dr. Oz making house calls in that bitch.

TJ, How can we end the drug war?

Legalize marijuana and stop voting for Democrats and Republicans.  And lastly stop calling it a drug war. It’s a slogan devised by the government to keep you in a victim's mindset. The government orchestrated this whole thing to create unnecessary jobs with Tax Payer Money. They want you to use their pharmaceuticals. They don’t want you self-medicating with that MILF Weed.

TJ, please talk about how some men get out of prison and still don't want nothing better in life but crime, stress, and negativity.

I don’t see the big deal. You’re a free woman and you’re telling me that the best question you can come up with involves niggas getting out of jail and wanting nothing better in life but crime, stress and negativity? If you encounter negativity more than likely you attracted it. My advice is to focus on what makes you so concerned with these negative niggas - when it’s a bunch of positive niggas with no jail record all around you. And don’t tell me your baby daddy is an ex convict because that just means you are two peas in a fuckin pod!

TJ, weigh in on some of the bullshit gun control going on. Would like to hear what you have to say.

Gun control? Where the fuck were you when they were sending troops into a pointless battle in the middle east?  Where the fuck were you when Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act? Where were you when they renewed the Digital Millennium Copyright Act that makes it illegal to unlock your own fuckin' cell phone? Say a prayer for my niggas doing time.

Now they wanna take away ya pea shooter and you’re suddenly awake? Nigga please and why the fuck are you asking me? You should be asking your government.

But let’s face it. At some point or another every great nation must fall and America is not exempt.

Come on man, they’ve got us all medicated, addicted to fast food and porn. You know it’s over when the government can look you in the face and tell you they’re going to take away your privacy – CISPA - and all you care about is when the new iPhone is coming out. 

The whole country is divided over the demagogues and repugnant parties not even realizing they serve the same fuckin' titans of industry. 

You spend the whole year complaining about TV being nothing bunch of lies and then you tune into the same TV to follow the fucking election. What kinda shit is that? It’s over nigga. You’ve been asleep too long. Rip Van Winkle in this bitch. 

Say goodbye to every weapon you own, say goodbye to your privacy and say goodbye to your right to a fair trial. In fact, let me be the first to welcome yo ass to BLACK America. 

Pretty soon they’re going to tell you that your dollar is only worth fifty cent. You’ll get mad and riot in the streets and then your Reprublicrats will implement martial law and you wont do shit.

Cause when it really boils down to it – you’re to lazy to defend your own rights. And you’re too stupid to know where to begin. So why don’t you go back to whatever the fuck you’ve been doing and let these Prison Logic Soldiers lead this revolution.

TJ, share your wisdom and experience about Slovenia.

Nigga the only think I know about Slovenia is that you can pay to stay in a prison cell at the Hostel Celica in Ljubljana. If I ever get married that’s where I wanna spend my honeymoon. The world's oldest musical instrument was found in Slovenia. It was a pierced bear bone made into a flute. And the world's oldest wooden wheen was found in Slovenia as well.

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